I feel bad for my daughter. Busted for being at a party without adult supervision while pretending to be at a sleepover with a girlfriend. She wants to know how we found out but we won’t tell. The poor girl says they just wanted to hang out. “We played wii” she says. She doesn’t show any signs of hangover. They are 16 and if she tells me there wasn’t any alcohol, I don’t necessarily believe that. I am not so much concerned that she disobeyed me as I am that she might be putting herself at risk with choices she makes. In less than 2 years she will be an adult and mistakes will be hers to make, so if anything I want to guide her rather than to punish her. But she, a nervous nellie to some degree already, a rule follower and someone who cares very much about being trusted (I do trust her), looked mortified and close to tears after we very calmly told her what the consequences had to be. Then she went into her room, where she is probably letting people know that the cat is out of the bag and worrying that people will think that she was the one who spilled the beans. We wouldn’t tell her how we knew, but suffice it to say that this isn’t the world we grew up in.